Anything could happen.

Its so interesting how feelings can really change. HAHA I kinda wish I had the old feels about certain things but.. Nevermind maybe its all for the best. :)

I think ever since I came to JC I started getting these random mood swings like crazyyy I really can't stand it. :( I feel so sad and then happy and then bored as hell and depressed and suddenly crazy and I just do the most stupidest and lamest things on earth and I'm totally not feeling like myself. :( The worse part is that these ""emotions" re like super duper extreme. HAHA like... I WOULD FEEL SO DEPRESSED LIKE DYING AND THEN I WOULD FEEL SO HAPPY LIKE SMASHING INTO A WALL AND REBOUNDING BACKWARDS ON TO THE FLOOR AND LIKE LITERALLY DIE LAUGHING.

THIS IS HORRIBLE.

Anyway wouldn't it be interesting to be someone else? And I don't mean like some other random Singaporean with their lame boring lives revolving around studying and all this bla bla bullshit.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm heeheeheeheeee *cue uncontrollable laughter* *winkwinkwinkwinkwink* BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And lol. I think I'm ruining your impression of me by being shit boring.
The old me would care, but unfortunately now I dont.

Hmmm

I have no idea why either. 



yeah.

lol

Sorry for not updating that often haha. Holidays are just so mundane you have no idea how pathetic my life is now. Just can't wait for jcts to be over so we can have a mini holiday again hehehehe k bai.

be happiness itself.

 

random lah

I am bored, very bored indeed. Oh well, a good thing about this holiday, is that i am officially bored of Twitter and Whatsapp. HAHAHA, I just hope this feeling would last forever, and I would be so forced to study out of boredom.

 Lalala, so well anyway,
sighsighsigh, byebyebye.

I just had to share this picture, and that's actually kinda why I posted hahaha.

embrace bright lights

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
― E.E. Cummings



lol i dont get why you even text me. I mean errr?

~~
Swim in the sea;
Drive all night;
Count the stars;
Find true love;
Get really drunk.

boats against the current, bourne back ceaselessly into the past.

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter--tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning-- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby



Daisy is just such a fucking bitch, okay omg I hate her.

paint me a sky.

WOKE UP TODAY IN VENGENCE AND DECIDED THAT THERE WOULD BE NO MORE MOPING. ITS TIME FOR YOU INSIGNIFICANT BITCHES TO WAKE UP BECAUSE I. AM. HERE. AWW YEAA

 Speak 5 lines to yourself every morning:

1. Everything is possible.
2. I can do it.
3. I am a conqueror.
4. Today is the day.
5. God is always with me.

I'm not technically a christian or a catholic but I still believe in god. :')
Well, anyway, I spent the whole of yesterday leading the life of a slug hahahaha so there's nothing really much to update about my life. I just really miss my old friends and I really wanna talk to them again but they're all busy with themselves. Mehhhhhh.. I guess I understand but it kinda sucks. :(

I wonder why I decided to take up A'levels... :( Maybe I should have freaking went IB instead. >:(

Oh yeah again, I rejuvenated my passion for literature and poetry. Kinda glad that I didn't take lit because apparently it is quite hiong here in TJ hahaha. I'll most probably hate it if I had to study it. But, life sure is kinda boring without my daily/weekly dosage of philosophical crap for me to ponder or rave about. SIGH SIGH SIGH.

She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's a time to change
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and talks like June.

Nothing much, just something to think about. :)
I like how words can evoke an endless string of possibilities...

~~

"Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever." - Walt Disney

Pain is inevitable for a large intelligence & a deep heart

"Your past is not anything physical where you could just get rid off and tear away. It is not a part of your skin where you could cut off, nor a part of your hair where you could just shave off. Your past is a part you, it breathes with you, it lives with you, it is you. There are many days and nights when it haunts you, it lingers around your every step and breath, it is a reminder that a part of you will always be a part of you. You take that part and you build upon it, you learn from it, but you can’t let it go because you need it to be a whole, you need it to be you."


Met up with some old friends yesterday to kick start my holiday and it really got me thinking about how different I am from what I expected today. I told myself that everything happens for a reason, and I was probably meant to be here but it hurts. I'm not happy. I'm not proud. Life just really sucks because I work my ass off but it doesn't pay off. Some people are just luckier and better than others and I really hate myself for being so inferior.

Someone asked me why I'm so sad all the time,

I have absolutely no idea. To be honest, I have no reason to be sad. I'm doing okay in school, I have friends, my family is ohhkayy and I have no struggles in life. But still, I'm sad. I'm always sad. I don't want to be sad. I HAVE NO REASON TO BE SAD. I don't know... Part of my heart is just incomplete and I have no idea why.

This is just so frustrating.

I just hope things would get better eventually and I would not be so stuck on my past, my expectations, and my failures.
I guess I've just gotta open my heart; It'll be hard, but I swear I'll try. :)

~~~

"I am in the mood to dissolve into the sky." - Virginia Woolf